To My Hero: A Blog of Our Journey Together

To My Hero is different than my other books. The subject matter is more mature. Also, I challenged myself by writing this book in the second person POV.  When you get to the end of the book, you’ll realize why.  I hope in the end this book will help girls and women open up to an uncomfortable conversation and know they are not alone!

All my best!

Chapter 1
The Party

   It would’ve been different if I had courage, even an ounce of it. But I was a coward from the day I met you, Ryan Crowley. I still am. In the end it doesn’t matter. The bottom line is the same. It’s my fault.
   After walking past the ringlets of cigarette smoke outside and into the house, the smell of alcohol hit me hard, like someone used a spray can to scent the air. I needed a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. The beat of the music came alive inside me, like a second heartbeat.
   The house teemed with people, laughing, dancing, and hooking up. Red cups filled with beer, and other alcoholic drinks, were in every hand.
   “I’m going to go blend,” Marianne shouted in my ear. I looked behind me to find her already on the prowl, lost in the ocean of people.
   My eyes zeroed in on you. Out of everyone there, you were the first person I spotted. My heart raced in response. Seeing you there unnerved me more than I’d care to admit. As usual, I pulled my eyes away so you wouldn’t catch me staring.
   Seeing you shouldn’t have surprised me. Of course you were there. Everyone from Woodbridge High School was at Will’s party. He wanted it to be epic, the exclamation point on our high school career; four long, fabulous years.  

*

   We met on the first day of high school. I entered homeroom, hoping to find a familiar face, but as I walked through the door, I saw only one face, yours. Laughing like you ruled the world, you sat backwards on top of your desk facing the entrance to the room rather than the board, your dirty blonde hair falling into your eyes. You launched a paper airplane that fell at my feet.
   I would have bet my dog you threw it at me on purpose. Taking a deep breath I looked up, ready to lecture you about how lame and immature you were. Our eyes met and I froze. My heart skipped to beat in rhythm with yours. It’s been pulsating on that frequency ever since.
   “Sorry,” you said, a slight smirk playing at the corners of your mouth as you hopped off the desk and sauntered over. I watched you bend down in front of me, your eyes never leaving mine, to retrieve your awe-inspiring creation. “I saw my buddy in the hall. I thought he was coming in,” you explained.
   I nodded, unable to find my voice.
   You smiled, your blue eyes twinkling. And I was hooked.

*

   “Hey beautiful,” Will said, sliding an arm around my waist, pulling my attention from you to him. I only hoped he didn’t follow my gaze. “You’re late.”
   “Just a little,” I smiled hoping to ease the tension I felt oozing off his body. “Marianne drove. You know her,” I rolled my eyes. “It’s all about appearances. I had no choice but to be fashionably late.”
   “There’s fashionably late, and then there’s this,” he sounded annoyed. “I thought you weren’t going to show.” He pressed his lips hard against mine. I tasted remnants of the alcohol he’d already consumed.
   “I wouldn’t miss it.”
   “Good,” he smiled, his eyes falling from my face to my chest. “You staying over tonight?”
   “I don’t know . . .”
   With a roll of his eyes he shoved a bottle of vodka at me. “Catch up.” He ordered then headed back in the direction of the bar.
   I placed my lips around the bottle’s rim, brought my head back, and chugged. I took too much into my mouth. My first instinct, was to spit it out on the floor. I fought the urge and swallowed hard. I hated the taste, the burning sensation as it travelled from my mouth, down my throat, and into my stomach. It was a trade-off, feel like I’m drinking poison in exchange for the light headed, carefree buzz the alcohol promised.
   The last major party of the school year, it was supposed to last all night. Will’s parents were across the country. His father owned a chain of clothing stores, Langdon’s Clothiers, and traveled two weeks out of every month. In an attempt to save their marriage from what looked like an inevitable divorce, Will’s mother decided to go with him. We had the house to ourselves to party hard.
   “So, you’re still with Mr. Wonderful.”  
   I couldn’t believe my ears. I felt a burst of adrenaline shoot through my body. I spun around and stared speechless for a nanosecond as I looked into your deep, blue eyes. I’d never seen eyes like yours, so striking and intense. Like a deer caught in headlights, I couldn’t fight the power you held over me.
   It had been months since we’d spoken and here you stood in front of me, looking as good as ever, like nothing ever happened. You smiled, showing off your deep dimples and softening the look of your strong square jaw. I swallowed hard before throwing my arms around you.
   Being that close to you, feeling the warmth of your body, inhaling the spicy cedar scent that hung on your clothes; there wasn’t anything better. Maybe I could think of a few things, but they all involved you and me, flesh pressed against flesh, and I wanted to keep my thoughts G rated. I lingered in the embrace a moment too long, enjoying the warmth and feel of your body. I hoped no one noticed.
   “What are you doing here?” I asked, over the loud music. “I thought you hate Will.”
   “I do,” you smirked, “But Lanie wanted to come.” I followed the trail of your eyes back toward a small group in the corner from where you came, all the way to Lanie Millano, captain of the cheerleading squad. She embodied everything from All American good looks with her blonde hair and perfect body, to school spirit.
   Every time I thought of her I felt a twinge of envy. I couldn’t find one flaw in Lanie, hard as I tried, and boy did I try. I hated her. I especially hated how perfect she looked with you. You made the perfect couple.
   “And I knew I’d get to see you.” Your voice was heavy with emotion, your eyes burned into mine.
   I forgot about Lanie. Forgot all about Will. Forgot everything, but you.    
   When I didn’t respond, unable to utter a word, you filled the empty space, “I just wanted to say hi. Unless he has a problem with that.”  
   It had been a long time since we spoke. Much too long. I’d given up hope that you’d want to talk to me again. And finally, there you were, in front of me. I had a golden opportunity. But first, I had to think of something to say.
   “So, you and Lanie huh? You guys looked amazing at the prom.”
   “Thanks,” you looked away, uncomfortable. “She’s probably too good for me.” You smiled, flashing your dimples, “Like you and what’s his face.”
   “What do you have against Will anyway?” I knew I shouldn’t have asked, the words flittered passed my lips as if I didn’t have a filter on my brain, but I said it, and I could do nothing about it. Maybe subconsciously I just wanted to hear one last time you still had a lingering interest in me.
   Your lips drew up into a resigned smile, “You chose him over me.”
   I dropped my eyes to the ground feeling awful, like the Grinch, when he realized what a horrible thing he did stealing Christmas.  
   “Hey,” you attempted to lighten the mood, “It’s all good. We’re both happy, right?”
   Something in the way you asked didn’t have me totally convinced you were happy.
   I felt I needed to say something in my defense. “It’s not like you were sitting around waiting for me.” 
   “Because that would’ve made a difference,” I caught a trace of bitterness in your voice and it put me on the defensive.
   “Maybe.”
   I don’t know why I said it, what did I expect you to do? Even as you stood there in silence I couldn’t help but wonder, did it spark a light of hope for you, for us, or was anger still the main emotion you felt toward me? These thoughts raced through my mind as I took another long swig of vodka.

 The next chapter begins- Breaking Waves

An exciting new YA novel from author Danielle Sibarium…

Heart Waves

Jenna Kingsley has a gift. She knows things.  With a simple touch she can pick up personal information from jewelry or objects. While at a neighbor’s party, a voice mesmerizes her. Jenna is momentarily frozen as a ring is placed in her hand. White electricity surges through her and a dire prediction is made. “It’s like Romeo and Juliet. You’re going to break my heart.”

From the moment they meet Jenna is enchanted and entranced with Reece Walton. She’s thrilled to learn he’s spending the summer two houses away from hers. Every moment they spend together is magical.  But she can’t get the prediction out of her mind.  As the summer draws to a close and secrets are revealed, can Jenna get past the fear of being left with a broken heart to live in the moment with Reece or will her fear of being hurt fulfill the prophecy?

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        For Always  You never really get over your first love. Such is the case for fourteen-year-old Stephanie Barrano, self-proclaimed misfit and death magnet. A freshman in high school, Stephanie is befriended by Jordan Brewer, a hot, in-demand senior, who pulls her from the outer circle of obscurity into the realm of acceptance. Jordan quickly works his way into Stephanie’s heart. He’s her everything. And the only person she trusts with the truth about her father’s death. But he won’t act on the strong feelings he has for her. Stephanie vows to wait for him, knowing in time she’ll win his heart.   Two months before her eighteenth birthday, Jordan serves as an impromptu prom date. After sharing a magical evening, Jordan leaves Stephanie with the promise of a future together. Then tragedy strikes. Jordan not only shuts Stephanie out, he also blames her for what happened. Feeling broken and beaten, will she try one last time to get through to Jordan or will she lose him forever?   Make your own photo slideshow at Animoto.   Tweet